Solomon Plays Angels of Death – Episode 8 (A Shot in the Arm)

Like the lotto, Solomon's chances of scoring a viral hit are 1 to a very high number.

Hoping to Be the Next HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA

When I’m not imagining myself winning the lottery, I like to imagine an article or video of mine going viral. Both theoretically result in more money and a new lifestyle. A good chunk of aspiring bloggers/YouTubers hope to make it big. We’re led to believe one hit is all we need to plaster our faces across the internet.

My ego, wallet, and father all think going viral is hunky-dory, yet my neuroticism believes otherwise. Let’s say hell hath frozen over and this video becomes an overnight sensation. One or two million people flood my website. If we ignore that such traffic would overload my site, I am not equipped to withstand such sudden fame.

For one, I don’t have any ads, so this influx of views earns me nothing unless I pull in advertisers immediately. With my new following, my production rate of 0-2 articles a week will not cut it. The masses hunger for more. As such, either I have to use all my free time to feed the beast or take the risk and quit my day job. Not only is this latter option risky, but leaving my career would negatively affect with whom and for whom I work. There’s no point in becoming an internet star if I lose my integrity to get there. I’m supposed to lose that integrity with a tasteless video during my second year of fame.

Success carries consequences, and positive change can create just as much stress as negative change. If I suddenly attract a gazillion viewers overnight, I won’t be distraught, but I won’t be breathing easier either. Fortunately, I don’t think my Angels of Death videos are going to burden me with recognition, power, and moolah. Essentially, I won’t be catching any viruses soon.

If you do have an idea of how I can be more infectious, let me know. Otherwise, send me your good fortune as I buy my next lotto ticket.

Leave a Reply