How Many Bulb Boy Downloads Does It Take to Screw a Person?
In my review policy, I claimed I provide more accurate reviews because I won’t write about a game until after I beat it. In my Mario + Rabbids review, I mentioned how I randomly select my next review instead of reviewing my games chronologically because I fear long-term commitment. This system has worked for the first eight months or so of my website. Lately, it’s reminded me that my recollection sucks. Unless I’m consistently revisiting the game, even stellar titles like Gorogoa and Sonic Mania fade from memory like a pink skirt’s color when mistakenly washed with bleach.
Bulb Boy is a wholly forgettable game. After a year since my initial playthrough, I could only remember it was short, simplistic, and generally disappointing. These simple memories don’t make for a great review, so I ventured through Bulb Boy again to reacclimate myself. Fortunately, the game is short and simplistic, so I was able to breeze through it. This second playthrough reminded me that I don’t dislike this vividly green adventure. It’s just a generally disappointing game.
What is it?
Bulb Boy is your standard point-and-click adventure involving lightbulbs and copious amounts of snot and poop. The titular character awakes in the middle of the night to discover some malignant force has infected and warped his house. This evil has not only filled his home with murderous ghoulies but has kidnapped both his grandfather and his flying dogball. Our young lightbulb therefore must brave horrors and dangers in order to regain his peaceful life.
Each chapter focuses on a single room/area, and Bulb Boy must collect and use items to slay enemies or progress past a room. Like his human counterparts, our hero dies when eaten, severely battered, or hollowed out by parasitic worms. Unlike Little Nightmares, death doesn’t chase you down, but if you’re not mindful of the monsters, you may just saunter up to their jaws. That said, checkpoints are plentiful, so if you get your kicks from killing lightbulbs, you won’t be punished too harshly.
To break up the horror sections, Bulb Boy includes flashbacks to happier times between our protagonist and his family. These memories, in turn, foreshadow the beasts you will encounter next. For instance, a memory of a picnic segues into a kitchen fight with a gigantic roasted chicken. Apart from the flashbacks, you’re never quite safe.
What’s good?
- Bulb Boy is absolutely congested with style and character. Although its obsession with bodily excretions becomes somewhat intolerable, the game generally manages to be unsettling, disgusting, and cute simultaneously. In many ways, it feels like an ode to Courage the Cowardly Dog, Invader Zim, and Hot Topic. It’s a shame then that everything is washed in green or red hues. The color combination may recall the days of the original Game Boy and Virtual Boy, but it also brings with it the headaches caused by both.
- Bulb Boy is his best without his body. After a run-in with a poop monster, our protagonist will spend several chapters as a head, rolling along in his world. In certain settings, he will inhabit the carcasses of other animals, allowing for different movement styles. These transformations do not alter the gameplay drastically but do break up the room-to-room formula.
What’s okay?
- The puzzles don’t pose a considerable challenge. As I stated previously, the typical room contains two or three objects to waggle or whack at another object. Items do not combine with each other nor will you ever need to move back and forth between rooms. Because arrows highlight every interactable environment, you essentially have a breadcrumb trail to follow from start to finish. Not all puzzle games need to brutalize your brain, and consequently, Bulb Boy may appeal more to a casual crowd.
What’s bad?
- Several unintuitive situations and bugs hamper the flow. In one flashback, I fumbled around until I realized I could interact with a piece of wood in the foreground. Because Bulb Boy has no jump button, I paced through a level until I accidentally encountered the one time you can hop. In a latter section, it is unclear that you can move both characters, and a reminder message only pops up after you stay still for several seconds. I also had to look up how to get past one chapter. Rather than finding a solution, I discovered a bug had made it impossible for me to progress until I restarted the game.
- For a horror game, Bulb Boy likes to move leisurely. With his stubby little nubs, our boy manages a brisk walk at best, even when pursued by enemies. His head rolls even less quickly. When you control his grandfather in one flashback, he inches—inches, I tell you!—along, and you must routinely mash the A button when he randomly falls asleep in order to progress. With these lethargic movements and hide-and-wait sections, a significant chunk of Bulb Boy is simply travel time.
- Even with the pacing issues, the adventure is short and shallow. You can finish it all in around an hour, and you need not replay it to find any hidden meanings. Bulb Boy is content with being a rather mindless and morbid Saturday morning cartoon. This would be fine if there was more to it, but due to its lacking length, it feels like a pilot to a cancelled Cartoon Network series. Because the story ends so dully with a button-mash battle with the final beast, the payoff doesn’t justify the trek.
What’s the verdict?
Perhaps I’m too harsh on Bulb Boy, considering it has received numerous awards and several favorable reviews from other sites. Its aesthetic and style of humor will definitely appeal to those who enjoy the cute and crude, but its actual gameplay mechanics don’t venture far from the box. The Switch does not lack horror puzzlers, and Detention earns my recommendation before this. If you will experience withdrawal without your daily surplus of green glow, Bulb Boy’s mobile version offers the best experience with its reduced price point and touch controls.
Arbitrary Statistics:
- Score: 5.5
- Time Played: Over 3 hours
- Number of Players: 1
- Games Like It on Switch: Little Nightmares: Complete Edition, Detention