The First Reflection
Over the years, I have started my fair share of half-assed projects, enough to at least make three full asses. Each endeavor started with ample ambition and dedication, but each eventually petered out, be it to lack of interest, time, creativity, or all of the above. To write this article is something of an accomplishment for me because it means I kept with it long enough to write a whopping 20 reviews. Compared to other websites, this number is peanuts, but for me, it represents seven months of continued focus. It gives me hope that I’ll maintain interest in my future children for longer than a weekend.
But you’re all here for the games, so let’s get to those.
The Ones That Collected Virtual Dust:
Before my website, my tendency was to abandon a game shortly after I finished it. I did not expect this to change once I started writing game reviews, and lo and behold, I was right. Thumper is an amazing game, but I’m not eager to chase high scores, so now new plays for me. I’ve played through Cave Story enough times to last me a few more years. In general, I need about three or four years before I’m itching to replay a game, so Blaster Master Zero and Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap are still too fresh in my mind for me to revisit them, even with the former’s new DLC characters. If I ever get around to playing Magical Drop II again, I’ll be surprised, especially since I own better puzzle games. I still have yet to finish all of Death Squared’s four-player puzzles, but without a dedicated group of three other people, I haven’t mustered the motivation to complete them. As for Kamiko, I got my fill when I replayed it for my review, so I imagine it is another game which will never be touched again. Ending this section, we touch upon Lego City: Undercover, which I have only opened for videos and pictures. If I ever have to actually play it again, it will be a sad day for Solomon.
The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth+
This game now has well over 400 hours logged onto it, but nearly half of that time is from my partner. At first, she only watched me play, and after we discovered Northernlion, she binged all of his Isaac videos. There was a brief period when we played co-op, but after doing so killed me inside, she chose to begin her own account. This was all during the Rebirth years on the Wii U, but once Afterbirth+ hit the Switch, she made a goal to 1001% the game. It’s been a slow-going process, but she now has almost every Post-It and challenge completed.
As for me, I continue to enjoy the dailies (still need to unlock Broken Modem), and I imagine I play 1-3 hours of it every week. After having Isaac fever for nearly three years, I’m growing a little bored of the game. The update a few months ago was a somewhat welcome edition. It’s great that there are no more bugs that prevent you from completing the game, but I’m nowhere near dedicated enough now to 1001% it, especially because all I need is the Broken Modem and to see one enemy (which only appears in the Womb when Jesus feels like it). The Booster Pack content can be fun, but the new items dilute an item pool which has been watered down considerably already.
The Multiplayer Sessions:
I love buying multiplayer games, especially ones that allow for more than four players. The awkward geek in me believes that I’m cool having a selection of games when my friends come over. It is very rare for my friends to actually give a shit about most of my games because they come over hoping to play specific games, be it Mario Kart 8, a Smash Bros. game, or some rendition of Mario Party. Most of my indie options are left forgotten, either because they’re difficult to learn or the experience really isn’t that novel.
That’s why Rocket Fist is so special. Almost every single play group I invite over enjoys flinging fists at each other, and many request to boot it up when they come over again. We rarely play for more than 15 minutes, but we have yet to grow bored of it. If someone has not tried out the Switch, Rocket Fist is one of the first I show them.
Jackbox Party Pack 3 is another fan favorite, especially with my family. Although I still get quite a few laughs in every play session, the game is growing a tad stale, especially since the only modes people seem to enjoy are Quiplash 2 and Tee K.O. I’ve pulled out Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime a few times when I have friends over of different skill levels, but it has never seemed to click with anyone. The same goes for Overcooked!, and its framerate and controls issues have become more noticeable to me, making me want to play it even less.
The Rest:
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: Still love the game; still think it’s amaze-balls. I enjoyed the Master Trials expansion enough for the price tag to be justified, but it is largely more of the same game. I have not had time to truly wade through the Champions’ Ballad, but I’ve managed to get about halfway through, and I think it’s solid as well. The “revamped” Guardian bosses are a little tiresome to me, but the new shrines have been worth my time.
Puyo Puyo Tetris: It’s still a fun game, but if I’m playing a puzzle game these days, it’s Tumblestone. My partner and I will take turns on its Marathon mode when our brains are mush and we feel like wasting our lives.
Splatoon 2: A lot of cool content has come out since my review, but I can’t be bothered to play it given its connectivity issues and hatred of friendship. A few weeks ago, I hopped online to play a few League games, and it was fun, but then one of my friends was booted mid-game despite their solid internet, and my heart turned to stone. I imagine I will return to Splatoon 2 at some point in the Switch’s lifespan, but I have had more fun with Doom online, even if it has its fair share of connectivity issues.
Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle: The new DLC came out, but I have yet to touch it. The new multiplayer mode is still awful, with two play sessions being enough for me to retire it for good. I may open the game when the Donkey Kong DLC is released, but as I said in my review, I was never really amped to play this game in the first place.
Super Mario Odyssey: Again, new DLC came out, but I’m not interested enough in hide-in-seek to try it out.
Fire Emblem Warriors: My partner and I have tried so many times to get back into playing it, to give it another chance because we enjoyed Hyrule Warriors so much. Alas, it is still a mediocre game.
Spelunker Party!: I haven’t touched this game since the review, and I hate it. I probably should have addressed this in the “Ones that Collected Virtual Dust” section, but that would not give me enough space to clearly shit on this awful creation.
Update Over:
Having completed this first update, I recognize this is a little clunky, but I will preserve it as it is. In another ten reviews, I will see how far I have come and determine how best to present this to you all. If any of you have ideas of what you would like to hear in a “review update,” let me know. Otherwise, I’ll let this collect dust too like the entire inventory of Xbox One consoles in Japan.