Too Much History Behind This One
We flew too close to the sun. I set out with a grand dream: play each of Namco Museum’s eleven games, lampooning the tired retro collection for every wrinkle and age spot it had. Editor One would then take my treasure trove of satire and select only the best nuggets. He would sit with Player Two and I and comb through his edits. Our collective minds would see all necessary improvements, and Editor One would slink back into his lair to produce the final masterpiece.
But the sun was so hot, and our wax wings could not carry us forever. It took me an hour and fifteen minutes to slog through all of Namco Museum, and by the 45-minute mark, I became acutely aware of how quickly my rambling was turning into babbling. Exhausted and defeated, I shipped the results to Editor One, and that sweet, innocent child endured all of it to excise 41 minutes of excess fat. The three of us sat down to watch the video, brainstorming edits while Player Two transcribed the road map for “Draft 2.” This process was actually remarkably fun, and we pretended to be a little YouTube crew, scheming for our next viral hit.
We were still optimistic, but the sun is a realist. Life got in the way, and Editor One had already developed a hatred for the damnable Namco Museum video. He had seen too much of it, had heard my voice drone on for too long. He tried to avoid it, but the video slowly became his raven, haunting him no matter how much he tried to purge it all from his memory. His dreams were of corridors, sprites, and darkness. Underneath his tortured screams, he could still hear a deep, malevolent voice grumble, “Druaga.” Four weeks passed without me hearing from him, and I can only imagine the hard drugs and women he needed to distract him from Namco.
We had been burned. Three days ago, I found a 27-minute video shared with me, the feared Draft 2. As I watched it, I could not enjoy it, knowing the pain we had all suffered making it. I wanted to be done with it, but there were still five issues, and with a heavy heart, I ordered Player 2 to give the changes to Editor One so that I didn’t have to speak with him. I was not privy to the conversation, but I believe Editor One at point asked that I “suck his ass.” I cannot imagine the severity of his mental instability for him to say something like that.
But here we are. I present to you the 25-minute video into which we all poured our love. We all learned something, be it video editing, effective commentary, or efficient teamwork. It’s amazing how much we have done in this month-long process. It’s amazing how much the original video has changed. It’s amazing that there is still a grammatical issue at 16:59 despite me explicitly pointing it out and stating how it could be fixed. I’m not blaming you, Player Two, BUT I DISTINCTLY RECALL SAYING THAT THE SEMI-COLON GOES AFTER “ROLLING THUNDER 2,” NOT “ARE.”
We’re done though and ready to move on. We’ve revised our plans, improved our wings, and steeled our souls, all to prepare us for the next venture. If you want to contribute to our growth, feel free to throw comments or money our way.