Because Why Be Satisfied When You Can Complain for More?
With Nintendo’s 2018 E3 presentation looming on the horizon, gamers are astir with hopes and hype. If fortune falls in our favor, Nintendo will unleash a torrent of game reveals, essentially presenting a strip tease geared toward nerds. The internet is abuzz with speculation as to what games will be shown and what Nintendo might be saving for its big announcement (as if a new Super Smash Bros. is not enough).
E3 presentations have historically focused on software, mainly to prove their consoles are still relevant. With the Nintendo Switch making its second E3 appearance, Nintendo arguably must produce a pretty spectacular show to demonstrate the fledgling system can maintain its current momentum. Maybe it’s my naïve loyalty, but I’m not worried about Nintendo on the software side of things. I am, however, concerned about how Nintendo intends to address the issues present with their darling system.
At least since the Nintendo 64, Nintendo has seemingly made missteps with each of its major consoles. From the cartridges of the N64 to the lack of online multiplayer on the Gamecube to the Wii’s outdated hardware to the Wii U’s very identity, the gaming giant has appeared to fumble a major aspect of the consoles. Like the Wii, the novelty of the Switch has driven amazing initial sales, but the older the system gets, the more likely its shortcomings are going to be highlighted instead of its strengths.
Much like my amiibo blogitorial, this article is my pipe dream, containing my beliefs about how Nintendo can improve the Switch to better guarantee its appeal. If my opinions echo the opinions of others, it simply underlines just how much Nintendo’s audience is hoping for specific changes. The Japanese company has clearly proven they can make an innovative console, but if they don’t want the Switch to age and putter out like the Wii did, they will need to improve the system, itself.
What pictures do you include when you’re not talking about games?
Wish 1: Justify Why We Need to Pay for Online Services
Let’s kick this dead horse now: Nintendo has royally sucked at implementing online services. It took the company nearly a year to release the first online multiplayer game (Battalion Wars 2) for the Wii, and it looks like it needs more than a year to create a legitimate online system for the Switch. The Nintendo Switch Online (NSO) service will go live this September, and the most exciting information we’ve heard is that there is a family plan for up to seven Switch consoles for $35 a year. Through this plan, my friends and I can save our money for what might be a wholly lackluster service.
My wish is that Nintendo has heard the roar of its angry consumers and is planning to showcase why we’re paying for anything. They’ve delayed the NSO because they’re doing something, right? The backlash for Splatoon 2 should be evidence enough that we need dedicated servers. God, if Nintendo were to announce just those two words—dedicated servers—I think the Nintendo fanbase would collectively orgasm. It’s great that we get NES games and cloud saves, but I wouldn’t pay $20 a year for those features, especially if I’m getting the same old internet services I’ve received for free for the past decade.
I would’ve put the Netflix logo here, but I want you to look at my saves.
Wish 2: Do as the Other Consoles Do
The Nintendo Switch has defined itself as a remarkable hybrid device, yet it still feels like a half-baked product. The system is sorely missing apps like Netflix, YouTube, or Amazon Video. There is no general internet browser. You can’t even physically back-up your save files. Its little kickstand is a flimsy piece of shit.
All of these features—apart the last one—have been present in other consoles (including Nintendo’s own) for the last two generations, so why is the Switch missing them? Perhaps the video apps and internet browser will be introduced with the NSO. I recognize that none of these amenities make or break a system because we have phones, remotes, and drink coasters that can play Netflix or access the internet. However, I’m wondering what demonic pacts are preventing Nintendo from offering what are now considered commonplace features.
Conversely, the save file issue is simply more evidence that Nintendo is secretly run by sadists. Scratch that, it seems this entire article is basically showing how the company revels in the confusion and existential angst caused by their decisions.
Fun fact: you can’t take screenshots while on the eShop.
Wish 3: Bolster the eShop
Nintendo has actually been making improvements with the eShop (especially with their recent update), but the once minimalistic and stylish store front is cluttered to hell. With the surge of titles hitting the “Recent Releases,” “Great Deals,” and “Coming Soon” every week, all of the menus have given way to long lists of slowly loading pictures. The “Featured” section and “search by developer” option have somewhat mitigated the daunting task of wading through the eShop, but browsing games still is about as pleasant as wading through the sweaty crowds of Day 3 of a music festival.
Outside of its design, the eShop continues to lack features present in previous and current consoles. Nintendo must think we’re selfish bastards because a “Gift” feature is not present. Your wishlist doesn’t remove games you’ve purchased and hides from the main menu. As SMG Studio suggested in a reddit post, the eShop would benefit from a rating system with user comments. Nintendo once implemented reviews on the Switch but supposedly became so flustered by offensive opinions that they eliminated it. Considering the Miiverse was a thing, it’s surprising that Nintendo is so frightened by the possibility of crass user contributions. Whatever the case, thicker skin and a timely update could help both Nintendo and the Switch.
This represents the Virtual Console section.
Wish 4: Replace the Virtual Console
The Virtual Console is dead, just like my other childhood treasures. We can’t say we didn’t see it coming, considering it was barely alive on the Wii U and was MIA this past year. However, we also know that part of Nintendo’s lifeblood is nostalgia, so we won’t go long without our retro sustenance. Gamecube games have long been requested, and I will personally hemorrhage with happiness if Nintendo confirms GCN classics coming to the Switch at E3.
Regardless of how it is presented, Nintendo is long due to say something about their plans for their massive back catalogue of games. Like others, I am concerned Nintendo will go with a subscription-based approach for their retro releases. That said, I am also willing to accept that this is the replacement for the Virtual Console. After 22 years, it may be too much for Nintendo to demand $10 for Super Mario 64, so a subscription service may just be the right way to get people to pay for the same game for the fifth time. If we get this service before the end of the year, I’ll be content. I’ll absolutely still complain about not “owning” the game, but I’ll be content.
Look at my games. Look at them.
Wish 5: Create the Ultimate Gaming Necessity – Folders
And here we are. The single biggest reason why I question if Nintendo knows what they are doing or are just surprisingly lucky.
You can’t make folders on the Nintendo Switch. You can’t sort your games. It doesn’t matter if you have two games or 200; you cannot order them in any other way than most recently played. I own over fifty titles, and sometimes I have to go to the “All Software” screen and waste multiple seconds scrolling through all of my titles to find the specific game I want to play. All told, I have spent a full four minutes of my life doing this, and if I had folders, I could have saved those moments of my life. Hell, I could’ve used that time to sort games into folders.
It’s true that my neuroticism yearns for sorting abilities more than what’s healthy for me, and all told, the folders, themselves, are not a huge issue. They do represent the larger problem described all throughout this article: Nintendo isn’t equipping the Switch with features other systems have and which its gamers want. Even something as simplistic as folders have not been implemented, so what else is not on Nintendo’s radar?
Walking Away from the Wishing Well
My ultimate wish is for a Nintendo that listens and responds to its audience in order to make a long-lasting Switch generation. The company’s secrecy has been a mixed bag for me as a fan. I am always pleasantly surprised by a sudden Direct or a wacky game reveal. I’ve also been on one too many hype trains that have derailed and fallen into nothingness. Forums may be fueled by the constant discussions about when Nintendo will do this or that, but I argue it’s now time for Nintendo to step out from behind the curtain and explain what the hell is going on. Here’s hoping E3 will be a step in the right direction for improving the Switch.
Until then, give me my goddamn folders.