GoNNER

Review Update #3

Review Update #3

Are We Done Yet?

Damn you, Solomon.  Damn you and your principles and your review updates.  I now know full well why other reviewers never look back on their past articles.  After a certain point, you forget what you’ve written, and you definitely won’t remember exactly why you handed out a certain score.  I am barely able to avoid repeating the same jokes or introduction paragraphs.  How can I be bothered to actually reflect on my life choices?

I’ve certainly questioned if I should adjust a score in the last five months.  Wonder Boy:  The Dragon’s Trap, Treadnauts, and Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime are all games which I’ve considered.  After playing Firewatch and Gone Home, I now appreciate Night in the Woods more.  However, I won’t change a single score.  After reading Past Solomon’s critiques, I trust him more than Current Solomon’s nostalgia. 

Gone Home has also made me reassess the validity of my high scores.  Critics loved Gone Home, and after playing the game, I can confidently disagree with their lofty “88” rating on Metacritic.  I just don’t think the game is that good, and I recognize people could say the same about Katamari Damacy and Gorogoa, two games I’ve hammered with a 9.5 score.  Do I feel my ratings are off?  Hell no.  Based on my parameters, both games are near perfection.  That doesn’t mean others care about my parameters. 

This is why I like Metacritic and review scores.  No review can tell you if you’ll like a game, even if you read through it all instead of skimming the conclusion.  It’s a single opinion; that’s it.  If you are interested in a particular title, I recommend you go on Metacritic and read at least these three reviews:  one which gave the game the highest rating, one which gave the lowest, and one which scored somewhere in the middle.  This brief survey will give you a pretty clear picture regarding if you should go forward with the purchase.

And that’s enough ass-kissing for Metacritic.  In terms of updates, the Binding of Isaac:  Afterbirth + received the most content when Nicalis gave out the other booster packs (including a new character).  As a testament to how much I’ve played Isaac, the update has done little to make me interested in the game again.  GoNNER also earned a whole new underwater section (and some other knick-knacks) which just seems to pad out the game more than anything.  The developers for Treadnauts gave some extra love to their players in the form of new options for multiplayer plus the ability to shuffle all stages together.  It’s cool that they did this, but I haven’t really played more than a few rounds since the update.

I know in my last review update I promised to show how my review scores add up to other sites, but I forgot where I put my Metacritic template, and I’m too whiny and lazy right now to make it again.  Suffice to say that my more recent reviews have increased my overall average.  I’m still theoretically more negative than my compatriots, but I’m getting more neutral.

On a final note, I want to take some time to shit on the Jackbox Party Pack 3.  It’s the only game my family is willing to play, and out of the different games we could play, they only like Quiplash.  I’m sick of it all.  I’m done making witty penis-related jokes.  I have a website for that.  I don’t need this in the rest of my life, god damn it.     

Posted by Solomon Rambling in Other, 0 comments
Solomon Plays Angels of Death – Episode 14 (The Critique)

Solomon Plays Angels of Death – Episode 14 (The Critique)

Burned to Death but Still Alive

Four months in the making, and I’m finally finished with Angels of Death. I’d say it’s been fun, but that be a lie, and I only lie about my weight and generally everything else. I could also call it a learning experience, but I’d be repeating myself, and I only repeat myself when I lie. Let’s just acknowledge that I made it through with my sanity and a little bit of motivation.

I don’t think I’ll make another “Let’s Play” series, at least for a while. With the 14 videos made for this Angels of Death series, I’ve collected a little under 50 views total, and 75% of those are likely my views. My videos do not typically garner much attention, but with GoNNER and Angels of Death, not even my family and friends were willing to give them a gander.

Nope, it’s time to move on. I experimented with a new concept with this video, and I think I might roll with it in the future.  For those of you who only read the video journal and don’t see the video (do you exist?), I pretended to know how to make Angels of Death better. First and foremost, I am a critic on this website, and the more I can complain and ridicule, the more my ego grows and lifts me up to new heights. As such, it’s logical for me to act like I know more than video game creators.  I don’t quite know what game I’ll critique first, but my current freedom to do whatever I please certainly has me feeling calmer.

I haven’t said this in a while, but if you have your own critiques, send them my way. I’m onto the next stage of my YouTube career.

Posted by Solomon Rambling in Journal, 0 comments
Solomon Plays Angels of Death – Episode 10 (Backtrack)

Solomon Plays Angels of Death – Episode 10 (Backtrack)

Nearing the Finish Line

In today’s video, I will complain about Angels of Death. How it is boring. How it is overly long. How I hate narrating it. Today, in my recording session, I saw the game to its boring, overly long finish which I will probably hate narrating. After I cut that session apart, I will likely come away with three videos. After today’s video, we will have four more Angel of Death episodes. The end is coming, and I have hope.

I will include my overall opinion of the game in my final video. It’s basically the same one I have been spouting since the beginning of this series, but it’ll be in one nice package. Then, I’ll break my randomized review rule*, and write a review for Angels of Death. After waiting to write my GoNNER review long after I finished the game, I imagine my writing will be better with the game fresh in my mind.

That’s it, folks. More will come, but for now, I’m video-gamed out.

*After I finish a review, I use a random number generator to determine which game I will review next. I retrieve three different games, and then Player 2, Editor One, and I vote on which one I’ll do. If any of you are eager for me to review Sonic Mania or Jackbox Party Pack 1, the three of us aren’t, so we won’t likely see them anytime soon.

Posted by Solomon Rambling in Journal, 0 comments
GoNNER

GoNNER

Pronounced Like You’re Screaming Most of the Word

Today, children, we have a brief history of the roguelike genre. Inspired by Dungeons and Dragons, traditional rogue-likes focus on turn-based combat, procedurally-generated levels (typically dungeons), and permadeath. The likes of Rogue, Hack, Moria and other games you’ve never played established the genre. Games like the Binding of Isaac and Spelunky define the “rogue-lite” genre (or “roguelike-like” for my stutterers out there) which infused roguelike concepts with platforming, beat-em-up, or FPS gameplay. Although different in presentation, each roguelike/lite poses a steep challenge, requiring players to learn gradually as they die. And that, children, is how the genre led to the Education Genocide of 2015.

Like many others in the genre, GoNNER embraces several traits of a standard roguelite while experimenting with others to twist the definition of the genre. With its emphasis on high scores and simple gameplay, it even plays more like an arcade game compared to other roguelites like Dead Cells or Enter the Gungeon. In this sense, GoNNER does away with many of the archetypes that muddy gameplay and reduce accessibility. In doing so, however, it limits its own potential, presenting an experience that’s refreshing but ultimately fleeting.

What is it?

GoNNER follows a droplet of water, Ikk, who goes looking for a fantastic gift for his beloved land-whale-friend. As is standard for a water-whale romance, Ikk must kill waves of enemies (à la the run-and-gun side-scrolling platformers of old) across four procedurally-generated worlds. Along the way, he will find new weapons, heads, and items to aid his massacre. He will also die, over and over again because that happens to water droplets.

As Ikk, you begin each run by customizing your loadout. Each head provides a different amount of health as well as a passive ability like a third jump, hovering capabilities, or explosion immunity. Next, your guns range from rocket launchers to shotguns to your standard pistol and serve to alter the gameplay the most. Lastly, you have your activated items which can give you an additional jump, temporary invincibility, or even an extra life. Shops are sprinkled between worlds, allowing you to change your loadout, but most players will find themselves most comfortable rocking their original gear.

Your weapon will clear out the majority of your enemies, but Ikk takes inspiration from Mario and can stomp creatures to death as well. Using both methods can be key in stringing kills together, and these combos reward you with more points, ammo clips, and purple glyphs. Glyphs prove to be invaluable later in your runs because with enough of them, you can respawn, ensuring your death doesn’t result in a game over. It’s like how rich, sick people use their money to buy organs off the black market.

What’s good?

  1. GoNNER is one of the most stylistically beautiful games on the Switch. The game begins in monochrome, but vibrant blues, reds, and yellows later seep into the black background. Walls and floors are only visible if next to you, an enemy, or an item, and they appear and disappear based on everything’s movements. This effect creates a world that is constantly in flux, shifting and dissolving in response to your actions. If you achieve a high enough combo, the music intensifies, enemies become harder variants of themselves, and all visuals become a trippy multicolor masterpiece that tastes like rainbows. Achieve an even larger combo, and the world devolves into a stark black/white jittery metal album cover.
  2. GoNNER makes the paradox possible by being an easily accessible but difficult game. You don’t need to read an entire Gamepedia website to understand what you’re doing or how to improve yourself. Dodge better and shoot better; that’s it. Although GoNNER won’t break you like Crypt of the Necrodancer or Darkest Dungeon, you’ll still encounter a sizable number of game overs before you complete your first run.
  3. The daily challenge mode brings needed variety. It forces you to adapt to a random loadout and trek through unfamiliar level layouts. For those searching for a higher difficulty, this mode kicks you into the wilderness with nothing but a loincloth, a broken can opener, and two expired cans of Whole Kernel Fiesta Corn.

What’s bad?

  1. In streamlining the roguelite genre, GoNNER severely limited its own content. It sprinkles secrets and unlockables throughout its stages, but you can find all of these in less than 10 hours. Compare this to the Binding of Isaac which still holds surprises after fifty hours of playtime, and GoNNER looks somewhat emaciated.
  2. Due to the limited content, the game also grows monotonous quickly. Your items, heads, and weapons dictate how you play, but this is where the variety ends. Despite being procedurally-generated, the levels don’t change enough for runs to feel unique. As you attempt to edge closer to completing a run, the early levels blur together, becoming a sludge of mind-numbing running and gunning. Hi-score chasers and speedrunners will feast on this action, but everyone else will eventually tire of the tedium.
  3. Difficult games usually punish poor plays, but in GoNNER, a well-intentioned but ultimately messy damage system offers cruel and unusual punishment. Based on the head, you have a set number of hearts, but when you take damage, your head, weapon, and item are flung from your body. As a defenseless water droplet, you must pick everything up once again to continue the fight. If you’re damaged again while headless, you die. Because enemies tend to swarm your body, you’ll often be utterly obliterated or down two hearts before you can escape. Fun, I tell you.

What’s the verdict?

For those who have read my Neurovoider review, my opinion of GoNNER sounds much the same but a bit less positive. GoNNER is a good game, and its art style and combo-focused gameplay offer a straightforward rogue-lite experience which can appeal to newcomers and veterans alike. However, the game does not stand among the best the genre has to offer. If you have burned through all of the other games I’ve mentioned in this review, then you can certainly place GoNNER on your docket without regrets.  For the rest, you have some rogue-lite history to cover first.

Arbitrary Statistics:

  • Score: 7
  • Time Played: Over 5 hours
  • Number of Players: 1
  • Games Like It on Switch: Enter the Gungeon, Tallowmere

Scoring Policy

Posted by Solomon Rambling in Review, 0 comments
Solomon Plays Angels of Death – Episode 3 (Redo)

Solomon Plays Angels of Death – Episode 3 (Redo)

Repeating Myself

I am not a firm believer of “There’s always a silver lining.” However, I do believe hardship can sometimes result in better rewards later. An extremely taxing and difficult job may train you to ultimately excel in your field. Your dog may die abruptly, but then your family discovers a new favorite recipe. For me, Elgato crapped out, destroying an entire video, but in redoing the video, I produced better work.

Like I did with many of my GoNNER videos, for this one, I regurgitated everything I mentioned in my first go-around. However, in the first take, I stuttered, paused, and just generally struggled with reading, remembering clues, and talking. The retake allowed me to focus on my monologue as I played on auto-pilot. The result came out more coherent and wittier (to my test audience of Player Two at least).

The process has made me reconsider how I approach recording. I imagine I can still provide adequate commentary if I play an action-based game with minimal dialogue. Stuff like Angels of Death, however, require more focus. As such, with my fifth video, I will experiment with something new: I’ll record the video without commentary and then record myself as I view the video. This allows me to mentally create a script based on what I’ve played and deliver it without the pressure of tracking the game’s story.

Revolutionary, I know, but it’s a step in defining my style. Because I miss my themed videos, I may step away from Let’s Plays for a bit as well. Regardless, let me know your thoughts, whether you prefer my incoherent rambling or my refined rambling.

Posted by Solomon Rambling in Journal, 0 comments