Nintendo Switch

Mar

2020

Drowning

In Shallow Waters

Would you watch a 35-minute slideshow of nature scenes? Would a story—conveyed only in unnarrated subtitles—make it more interesting? What if this story is about one teenager’s struggles with depression? Would you enjoy it then? Knowing that the story is intended to be straightforward, would you pay to see this entire show? If you said “yes” to everything, Drowning will fulfill your wildest dreams. Otherwise, you’re fine to ignore this game entirely.

The rest of this review is for those who want to read criticism for a game that was never really meant to be your “typical” game. With Drowning, developer Polygonal Wolf shares an account of mental illness, no more, no less. It engages gamers too little to be a traditional video game, and its personal yet simple narrative holds it back from delivering a deeper message on depression and the human condition. Unless you’re specifically looking for Drowning, you have little reason to buy Drowning.

What is it?

Drowning involves you dying as water fills your lungs and suffocates you. Drowning, conversely, follows a nameless protagonist as he struggles with European depression, which is like American depression but with misspelled “wourds” and fewer bald eagles. Over four years, our character’s symptoms gradually worsen, and his quality of life soon follows. Suicidal thoughts infect his inner dialogue, and the world around him becomes more isolated and sinister.

Your role in this journey is to walk along the beaten path before you. You will pass through a mountainous forest, along a beach, across a bridge, and other vistas which become less serene as the protagonist’s depression worsens. As you stroll, text is typed across the path, essentially creating thought bubbles representing our character’s inner monologue. You will walk at a lethargic pace, which possibly references the lethargy one feels when depressed. You can move slightly faster if you hold B, which makes looking around and walking an awkward ordeal, and this likely has nothing to do with depression.

Moving forward is all you will do as our narrator shares how his depression impacts his mood and academic life. Occasionally, you can wander off the path and grab a random collectible, but these collectibles only unlock achievements on other systems. There are four endings as well which require you to take hidden branching paths, and these amount to a few extra clips of dialogue. Otherwise, you will walk, as is the nature of the walking simulator.

What’s good?

Polygonal Wolf’s story provides a personal account of depression which can either inform the audience about mental illness or offer validation to those who experience depression. Without complicated metaphors or dramatic events, the narrative feels more realistic compared to other accounts of mental illness which try too hard to make you cry.

What’s bad?

Presentation and control issues limit immersion. The text is spaced haphazardly along the path, so you may have stretches without text or chunks where you have to stop and wait for the text to finish typing. Scenery constantly pops in as you walk, and levels end abruptly, flicking to a black screen without fading. Typos appear occasionally, and sometimes the environment makes the text difficult to read. The camera can be a bit sensitive, and holding onto the “move slightly faster” button becomes a chore.
Drowning describes depression as an unhealthy friend but struggles to stick to this metaphor or make sense of it. Throughout most of the game, our narrator refers to depression as “you,” an entity which convinces the narrator that he is a burden who should isolate himself from others. However, in the penultimate act, the two have a conversation, with “depression” claiming that it was trying to show the narrator that “there is nothing wrong with being different from everyone else.” It wasn’t “depression’s” fault; it was the narrator’s own thoughts all along! For some reason, the narrator drinks this Kool-Aid immediately, and we’re left to wonder if “depression” was really depression at all or was actually hope or a guardian angel or schizophrenia.
The environment and music clash with the content. I understand Polygonal Wolf was going for a laidback experience—complete with tinkling piano and trees everywhere—but the casual stroll does not reflect the character’s inner turmoil. You do visit a foggy bridge and an ominous house which fit the tone more closely, yet even these can’t shake the general feel of being on a relaxed guided tour.
Spoilers here, folks: The endings try to resolve everything and make grand statements when neither seem deserved. One ending finds our narrator completing suicide, having an epiphany in some afterlife nature trail, and then deciding to come back to life. Another ending stops the game midway with our character going to therapy, as if doing so suddenly resolves everything. The most confusing one involves the narrator deciding to remain dead, spending eternity in limbo with other faceless characters who died by suicide. I believe this ending is trying to pay respect to those who have completed suicide, but it comes so far out of left field that it is more fantastical than thought-provoking.
With its short runtime, Drowning can’t accomplish much. We follow four years in our character’s life, but we learn so little about him. We are given a few specifics, but this is not enough to give our narrator a full personality. As such, we can’t connect with him as deeply. The aforementioned endings act like acceptance speeches, rushing to a finish without saying anything. Drowning could drag with another hour of content, but it would also allow Polygonal Wolf to convey a fuller message.

What’s the verdict?

Like Fractured Minds, Drowning isn’t so much a video game about mental health as it is a story of mental health that happens to be programmed like a video game. I imagine those who work in the mental health field could use it to start a conversation on depression, and its message may be deeply validating for some players. I also bet the majority of Switch gamers will see Drowning more for its limitations than its merits. Mental health may still be relatively untouched in the video game world, yet this game has only scraped the surface. Unless you’re short on change, the Switch library offers deeper opportunities to explore mental illness while having fun.

Arbitrary Statistics:

Score: 2.5
Time Played: Less than 1 hour
Number of Players: 1
Games Like It on Switch: Fractured Minds, Gone Home

Scoring Policy

Jan

2020

A Mental Health Walkthrough: Fractured Minds

A Message More Than a Game

Fractured Minds should not be reviewed as a traditional video game. Emily Mitchell designed the game by herself over the course of nine months for a BAFTA contest, and she intended to send a message rather than create the next Celeste or Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice. However, my neuroticism will never forgive me if I do not review Fractured Minds and give it a score. As such, for my sake, I have developed a quick review here for my records. For a more relevant overview of the game, see the attached video.

What is it?

Fractured Minds offers six chapters, all focused on an element of mental illmess (specifically anxiety and depression). You take control of an unseen character who must solve simple puzzles in order to progress to the next chapter. These puzzles pose little challenge and exist largely to guide you in exploring each environment. A Slenderman-like monsters follows you throughout the story while a narrator points you in the right direction while criticizing most of your actions. The game can be completed in under 25 minutes, allowing you to reflect on the entire experience in one sitting.

What’s good?

The visuals are clean (albeit simplistic), and the soundtrack caters well to the overall tone of Fractured Minds. Most of the themes conveyed through the chapters (loneliness, stress, self-doubt) will resonate with almost everyone. Ms. Mitchell’s message at the end of the game is also heart-warming and motivational, and I imagine many will find comfort or encouragement from her words.

What could be improved?

The controls are imprecise, and the camera can be difficult to tame. Although neither affect the gameplay significantly, they are distracting. As a traditional game, Fractured Minds does not offer inventive puzzles or unique gameplay mechanics, so unless you buy into the mental health message, you will find little to entice you. More chapters would have also been welcome in addition to a more developed ending, allowing Ms. Mitchell to explore mental illness more in-depth.

What’s the verdict?

Above all else, Fractured Minds offers us a window into Ms. Mitchell’s experiences, one which allows us to relate to her or understand what mental illness can be. For those looking for a game like Night in the Woods or Gone Home, you may want to look elsewhere. For those who are unfamiliar with mental illness or who have begun to struggle with symptoms of depression and anxiety, the game may be a worthwhile download to begin one’s exploration into psychology, mental illness, and recovery.

Dec

2019

Super Bomberman R

Delayed Release

A whopping 78% of games released on the Switch have received some sort of update, whether it added content or addressed performance issues. Keen readers will know I pulled that statistic out of my ass, but that doesn’t matter. If this review ever becomes popular, I can always fix that statistic and make a better opening. Until then, I don’t need to. That’s the magic of post-launch updates: you can release a half-baked product and fix it later if people end up caring about it. With this, you never have to submit a final draft.

Konami has milked this concept for Super Bomberman R. The series’ revival was a barebones package when it first released in 2017. Over the past two years, it has sold rather well which likely incentivized Konami to produce more content. To the publisher’s credit, every update has improved Super Bomberman R, adding maps, unique characters (like Simon Belmont and Pyramid Head), and a new game mode. However, unlike Splatoon 2 or Arms, Super Bomberman R’s online component wasn’t strong enough to keep gamers playing, and the updates weren’t enough to pull them back. The updates did save Super Bomberman R from being a bad Bomberman game, but they didn’t necessarily make it a good one.

What is it?

Bomberman’s general gameplay tasks you with blowing up all other enemies in a maze-like arena. Instead of attacking others directly, you must strategically lay bombs to ambush or trap opponents. A bomb will explode a few seconds after you place it, sending fire in the cardinal directions which can kill both you and others. “Soft blocks” can be destroyed, opening new paths and potentially revealing power-ups. These power-ups give you new abilities/bombs or increase your speed, the spread of your bombs, and how many bombs you can plant at one time.

Matches play out quickly as you to race for power-ups, dodge opponents, and lay down your attacks. Bomberman has always thrived in multiplayer environments, and Super Bomberman R allows you wage battle against up to seven other players/computers. In the standard Battle Mode, your goal is to outlast everyone else for a set number of rounds. In the Grand Prix modes (added post-launch), it’s 3v3 to reach a specific goal (get the most kills, capture the flag, secure the zones, snag the most crystals), and your characters respawn if eliminated. Both Battle Mode and Grand Prix allow for local, wireless, and online multiplayer, although you’ll be hard-pressed to find another player online.

For its single-player campaign, Super Bomberman R offers a cartoony story in which the Bomberman Brothers must prevent a dastardly evil plot. Captured in still shots and laughably bad dialogue, the story does little more than justify why you must tackle 50 stages across five worlds. Each world ends with two boss encounters, and most missions task you will blowing up all enemies (although you have survival and escort variants here and there). The campaign can be played cooperatively with another person, doubling the chances that one of you will die to your own bombs.

What’s good?

The core Bomberman gameplay remains solid, barring some looser controls compared to previous games. Newcomers will blow themselves up a few times before adjusting to the gameplay, but they can eventually keep up with the explosive experts. When eight people come together, the gameplay is chaotic enough to get the room laughing yet still strategic enough to keep games competitive.
Grand Prix offers an innovative alternative to the typical “last man standing” formula. Bomberman has rarely challenged players to work as a team. Even in the traditional team battle, your allies operate more as extra lives than parts of a cohesive unit. In Grand Prix, you will lose unless your team all cooperates to reach the objective. Each character also has their own stats and abilities, bringing a level of complexity absent in other entries. Matches could be improved by shortening them by a minute, and the modes could be more original, but any Bomberman innovation is a welcome one.
Although often simplistic and tedious, the Story Mode can be entertaining. The environments are colorful, and the music is pleasant (even if it loops incessantly). You’ll encounter a variety of enemies with unique patterns, and the stages feature some interesting layouts. Co-op tends to try your patience with your partner more than it offers a new experience, but the option, itself, is still appreciated.

What’s bad?

An expensive shop prevents you from accessing a good chunk of content. Although updates have made it easier to acquire in-game currency, grinding for a single character or map can still take an hour, especially now that online matches are almost nonexistent. Super Bomberman R may award players who invest considerable time in the game, but it pays minimum wage when its shop prices ask for human sacrifices.
Super Bomberman R may be a reboot of the series, but this doesn’t justify less content and customization options. Unique modes from previous entities, like Air Drop (Dodge Battle) or Panel Paint (Reversi), are absent, and the same goes with power-ups (with several bomb variations excluded). You can’t randomize the stages or modes, make power-ups inflammable, include or exclude certain power-ups, or set handicaps. Now that indie developers are allowing us to finetune every aspect of local multiplayer (see Towerfall and Treadnauts), Bomberman feels out-of-touch with the current gaming world.
Apart from Grand Prix, Super Bomberman R does little to change or improve the series. Bomberman still can’t make its single-player mode anything more than a side dish. Battle Mode is virtually unchanged from previous installments, and its stages are recycled from previous entries. If Super Bomberman R was released during the series’ heyday, it would be considered another mediocre sequel, nothing more.

What’s the verdict?

After nine years since the last Bomberman entry on a Nintendo home console, I’m glad to see the series return and perform so well financially. It’s just disappointing to see it return so meekly. In its efforts to reboot the IP for a new audience, Super Bomberman R has sacrificed innovation for familiar territory, despite the fact that this territory has been ravaged by mortars for decades. New characters and modes show Konami is interested in straying off the beaten path, but after sitting on the franchise for nearly a decade, you would have hoped they had forged a new path during that time. We never demanded a perfect Bomberman, Konami, but these anemic blasts do little to blow our socks off.

Arbitrary Statistics:

Score: 6
Time Played: Over 15 hours
Number of Players: 1-8
Games Like It on Switch: Flip Wars, Towerfall Ascension

Scoring Policy

Nov

2019

Headsnatchers

Heads Will Roll

Headsnatchers has an achievement for those who log 50 hours into the game. I can appreciate the developers for rewarding players for sinking that much time into it. I can’t imagine a single person who would subject themselves to such an endurance test. Considering that reaching the 50-minute mark is an accomplishment in out of itself, one wonders if the developers were delusional or overly optimistic.

Maybe we can call them “dreamers” instead. They certainly have a novel idea, one which could have been an irreverent, zany multiplayer game. However, somewhere along the way, their dream game became a nightmare, one which is incoherent, illogical, and unwilling to let you have adequate control of your body. Ranking as the worst game on my Switch, Headsnatchers hurts to play, no matter how much love the developers may have poured into it.

What is it?

You knock them out and then rip off their heads: that’s the Headsnatchers way. The rest of the game depends on the arena because each has its own win condition. One stage requires you to shoot a basket with your opponents’ heads. Another tasks you with feeding those noggins to a shark. Some stages forgo the head-stealing and place you in a head-popping obstacle course. Each level begins with an opening cinematic explaining the rules (sometimes poorly), and then you’re sent into the fray.

It only takes few punches to fall unconscious, leaving your precious brain bag defenseless. Mash A enough times, and your headless body can get back up and attack the enemy, ideally dislodging your head from their grasp. The X button performs a standard or charged punch while Y executes a dash attack. You’ll occasionally have access to weapons, but picking up and using them usually takes so long that a simple smack is more effective. There’s a dodge roll as well, but the hit detection is dodgy enough so you don’t have to be.

“Tornado” headlines the game modes, and although it lacks any tornadoes whatsoever, you will find free-for-all battles in which each of you vies for three, five, or seven wins. “Tag Team” simply pits two teams of two against each other on the same maps found in Tornado. “Online” offers a lobby where you can jump around until you realize no one is playing Headsnatchers. You could play with friends online. You theoretically could. “Roulette” adds a few cutscenes and randomizes which stages you play but is virtually identical to Tornado. “Zombie Castle” rounds out the package with a single-player mode which involves isometric platforming and gunning zombies, making it the only mode that isn’t like Tornado and proving Tornado should’ve been the only mode. And while we’re at it, let’s take out Tornado.

What’s good?

Headsnatchers features a rather competent head creator. It’s like making a Mii except your creation is usually horrifying and the facial features overlap each other. You can then use your character to play, or you can choose from the 104 heads created by the developers. Most of their designs are actually endearing, to the point that Headsnatchers should have been a collectible action figure set (like Funko Pop) rather than a video game.

What’s bad?

The controls make Headsnatchers borderline unplayable. Movement feels loose, and your punches/jumps/shots will rarely go in the direction you aimed. Sometimes your inputs don’t register, and other times they’re delayed. Even if you do land an attack, it only matters if the hitboxes decide to work. I’ve blasted other players square in the chest with a shotgun only to see the bullets phase through them. When the game gets to decide which of my inputs will matter, I’m not playing; I’m simply hoping I can participate.
If the controls don’t ruin the experience, the bugs will. Of the two times I found one other person for an online match, both ended because the game didn’t register when someone had won, causing us to be stuck on a single stage. This same issue can pop up in local play. Additionally, you may think you avoided an obstacle or zombie, but if the coding disagrees with you, you’re out a head.
There is no option to play with bots. I’ll repeat: in a game with a dead online community, THERE IS NO OPTION TO PLAY WITH BOTS. There are a few games out there that still lack bots, but for a game this simple and so dependent on chaotic multiplayer action, it’s absurd that the developers did not include this option. The Tag Team mode is unplayable without four people, and it’s easier to play alone with four controllers than find three other consenting humans.
Some design choices seem to exist only to frustrate the players. The camera will zoom in based on the players’ locations, and if you’re right next to each other, the camera is fixed inches from your faces. There is no temporary invincibility once you’re knocked down, so if you’re in a pit of spikes or bullied by another player, “Tubthumping” becomes your anthem. If you’re entirely knocked out of a round, you’re frozen in place until everyone else is as well. Without a timer or any “sudden death” hazards, matches can drag out as the living players fumble with the controls. Certain stages are also dependent on precision platforming which is nigh impossible. As such, those stages either last minutes longer than they should or end in a draw.
Zombie Castle is a “how-to” of bad platformer design. Most stages find you jumping from blocky pillar to pillar, and you need near-perfect jumps to overcome them. Add that isometric view, and “leap of faith” becomes synonymous with “jump.” Occasionally you’re tasked with ripping off a zombie head to use as a key, but most often, these zombies serve as invincible bad touches. It’s generic; it’s boring; and the controls still suck.

What’s the verdict?

I’ll acknowledge I played barely two hours of Headsnatchers. I gave up on Zombie Castle after beating the second floor. An online community doesn’t exist for me to be able to play online. Player 2 refuses to touch the game, and my friends could only stomach a round. Perhaps you unlock improved controls, better performance, and bots if you reach 50 hours of playtime. Perhaps you achieve Nirvana. Having played only the two hours, I have only achieved the understanding that the developers had a great idea and didn’t know what the hell to do with it.

Arbitrary Statistics:

Score: 1.5
Time Played: Over 2 hours
Number of Players: 1-4
Games Like It on Switch: A Gummy’s Life, Stikbold! A Dodgeball Adventure Deluxe

Scoring Policy

Nov

2019

Super Mario Party

What 1-2-Switch Would Look Like as a Video Game

The first Mario Party created its own genre. By the release of the second, everyone wanted an invitation. The Mario fraternity saw similar success with their third outing, but by the fourth, the brothers were losing touch with the world. For the next four games, Mario Party handed out gimmicks like cheap drugs, and partygoers began experiencing hangovers. With the ninth and tenth outings, Mario Party resorted to chaining fans to a single vehicle just to get them to stay. In a desperate attempt to rebrand itself, Nintendo even repackaged Mario Party as Wii Party and Wii U Party. The handheld soirées were little more than dull tea parties.

With Super Mario Party, the series has cleaned itself up and arranged the best celebration since the original N64 renditions. A while ago, I advocated for the series’ demise, arguing Nintendo was slowly destroying the IP with all of the bad sequels. Super Mario Party has convinced me that Nintendo can make a good Mario Party game, but the series is not in the clear yet. In going back to the basics, Super Mario Party shows that minigame mania can still be a good time, but it is far from the ambitious, innovative sequel we have all wanted since the beginning.

What is it?

Super Mario Party is a board game if board games were cool and didn’t require social interaction. Four of you take turns rolling dice, moving around the board to collect coins, lose them, or trigger an event. Like Monopoly. Then, after everyone takes their turns, you all play a minigame. Whoever wins gets more coins. Kind of like Monopoly, but not. Players then must use these coins to purchase stars randomly placed on the board, each of which cost ten coins. The whole game ends after an allotted number of turns (in this case, the default is ten), and whoever grabbed the most stars wins everything. Exactly like underground cockfighting.

Super Mario Party shakes up the formula a bit by introducing character-specific dice blocks. On your turn, you can either roll a traditional six-sided die or your character’s die. For instance, Mario’s die has 1-3-3-3–5-6 on it, increasingly the likelihood you roll a three. Koopa, in comparison, has a die with 1-1-2-3-3-10, making you more likely to roll trash. Throughout a game, you can also collect other characters as allies, who not only can add one or two spaces to your roll each turn but give you access to their die.

Apart from the main party mode, you have several smaller offerings. Partner Party pits two teams of two against each other, and boards change to a grid-based layout on which you and you partner move at the same time determined by your collective rolls. River Survival is a glorified Paddle Battle minigame in which your team of four must navigate down a river, playing team-based minigames to collect more time in order to reach the end. Sound Stage offers a collection of rhythm-based minigames, and Toad’s Rec Room features throwaway games for people who have two Switches and two copies of Super Mario Party. The single-player and minigame modes—staples of the series—return as well.

What’s good?

Super Mario Party boasts a consistently strong selection of minigames. As with any entry in the series, there are some turds, but compared to the crap salad of Mario Party 10, this Switch sequel has some gourmet shit. Luck still dictates who will win occasionally but takes a backseat to skill.
Partner Party provides the innovation the series has so desperately needed. It allows for more strategy while moving at a quicker pace. You can divide and conquer across the board, having one player focus on stars while the other collects items and hits special spaces. Alternatively, you both can move together aggressively, collecting multiple stars per turn or stomping on your opponents to steal coins. Bad rolls and luck have less of an impact because one of you is bound to do better than the other. Even the minigames feel more varied because 2v2 and team minigames appear as frequently as the free-for-all batch.

What’s a double-edged sword?

The core game has been streamlined. Game boards are smaller; stars are cheaper; the maximum amount of turns is capped out at 20; and most fanfare is excised. Minigames have taken even more of the spotlight with these changes, and turns rarely drag out like they did in the older games. On the flip side, the smaller boards mean less strategy and politics among players. Although each board has its own unique gimmick, moving around them feels less dynamic. Players who enjoy the “board” more than the “game” will find Super Mario Party’s changes to the formula more disappointing.

What’s bad?

Despite its many modes, Super Mario Party lacks sufficient content. It only has four unique boards, the fewest of any console entry. River Survival has five different paths but the same ten minigames each time, so the mode grows stale after two or three attempts. Sound Stage is a nice diversion but can be finished in less than an hour. Fans thought that Nintendo would offer additional content in the future similar to Mario Tennis Aces or Arms, but now that we’re a year out without any DLC, we’re must accept what feels like “Mario Party Lite.”
Coming from the folks who made Super Kirby Slowdown and Disconsplatoon, it’s no surprise that Super Mario Party’s online mode sucks. Your options are reduced to competing against strangers or friends to see who wins the most minigames. You can’t play a full game. Multiple players can’t play on one console when playing with friends online. You can’t even choose from all of the minigames, just ten of them. Nintendo had an opportunity to truly reinvigorate the series, and they shrugged their shoulders.

What’s just Mario Party?

The single-player mode is a complete throwaway. Character-specific dice blocks are unbalanced. The computer players have four levels of stupidity rather than difficulty. Tutorials can’t be turned off. Certain animations drag on. Nintendo continues to withhold any true ability to customize your experience. Daisy still sounds like a deranged psychopath. The Mario Party series has always had weird/lazy/poor design choices, so it is as comforting as it is frustrating that Super Mario Party is no different.

What’s the verdict?

Years from now, I will remember the Switch as an age of lackluster sequels, but Super Mario Party will stand as one of the few worthy sequels. In returning to its roots, the game has cut off its unnecessary gimmicks in order to deliver a refined party experience, one of the best on the Switch. It may not be the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate of the series, but it doesn’t need to be for now. Seeing as this is Nintendo’s relaunch of the series, let’s hope the eventual Super Mario Party 2 does for Super Mario Party what Mario Party 2 did for Mario Party. Mario Party Party Mario Party Mario Mario Party.

Arbitrary Statistics:

Score: 7.5
Time Played: Over 25 hours
Number of Players: 1-4
Games Like It on Switch: GO VACATION, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games 2020

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